It has come to my attention that the gas, Carbon Dioxide by name, has been accused of being dangerous, and an unwanted substance. Therefore, I have no other choice but to defend his case to the very end, ensuring that CO2 is granted equal rights as a member of our community. A brief overview of what would be put forward in the court of law consists of the following information:
Mr Dioxide has kept us warm for centuries, devoting much of his free time to this matter, when he could just as easily have been exploring the archives of the Royal Horticultural Society, with whom he has been involved on multiple occasions, yet again making the Earth a better place. As well as this, he has provided an educational resource for millions of children and adults alike, as demonstrated in the local school’s very Chemistry classroom.
On top of this, my client has saved the lives of thousands, bursting out of a fire extinguisher at precisely the right moment – while you were enjoying a good old movie, or Bonnie down the street gossiped over the phone, Mr Dioxide was hard at work. He has, over the years, been tortured into cubic lumps of “dry ice”, by a physically straining method of freezing; as one might imagine, I am told that this is a most unpleasant way to spend one’s Friday afternoons. This has led him to journey down from volcanoes, seeking shelter from those who may harm him in the valleys below.
As Mr Dioxide has mentioned to me, one of his favourite childhood pastimes, back when this world was younger, was hiding, dissolved in water – if he were granted rights and freedom, I am certain he would aspire to do this again for fun one day, reducing the extra emission from burning fuels at the same time.
Although it may seem to you that my client has been harmful to humanity, or perhaps unfair, in his treatment of rock faces, our species is hardly one to talk; we are destroying the planet, minute by minute. In fact, in 2015, Mr Dioxide brought more happiness to the world than humanity ever could, with all the ice cream he had cooled, all the fizzy drinks he had made, all by himself. However, deep down, he knows that he cannot last forever. His breaths diminish with every tree he enters. This tragic truth has not stopped him, nor has it turned him against rainforests and plants.
I urge you to understand Mr Dioxide’s emotionally difficult position, as I am sure you will, and request that he is granted a proper place in our lives, once and for all.
My most sincere thanks,
The Book Cat