A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… I’m kidding. A couple of years ago, not so far from here… Wait, not quite. Once upon a time – no. Just no.
Okay. Let’s start simply. In the beginning, there was this odd sort of thing called – well, let’s not say what it was called. I’ll leave that to you. Anyway, this odd sort of thing. It twisted and turned and was very, very long, like a racetrack for cars. Sometimes, it got longer, like a plant. Sometimes, it just stopped, like a train. On Mondays, it was black and blue and yellow and orange and red and white. On Saturdays, it was white and red and orange and yellow and blue and black. Some days, it was backwards, and others, it was upside-down. Then, there were the days in between, which were neatly laid out in stripes, like T-shirts. One day every year, it was good. Not random, not exciting, but good. On this day, people congratulated others; it felt that they were halfway out of the dark. The thing did its best to help the people all year round, by feeding them and letting them choose their own colours. This way, it got to know them; it knew that Sarah, who lived on Baker Street, liked pink, and that Victoire, in France, loved the white of snow. But there was one thing that stopped it from seeing what Gregory wanted to eat, or what Terry really needed for his new coat.
This thing was a black cloud of pressure, a weight of a thousand planets, a matrix of swirling lines and clanging chimes of doom. It hung over the people for centuries, as all the colours faded to greys and the odd sort of thing shrank again, desperate. Over all its years of existence, it had learned that it wasn’t ever fair – how could it be, with the storm cloud rushing in every time it tried to help the people?
In the centuries that passed, it realised something. It couldn’t keep going forever, like a circle. It couldn’t always be there for people, like family. But most of all, it realised that that was okay. It didn’t always have to be there. All it had to do was be there more than the black cloud. And, with a sudden surge of strength, this odd thing crushed the cloud with its fist. It wouldn’t always be there. But today, it was staying. It stayed for so long that the people gave it a name. Here, we’ll call it Sue, though that wasn’t what they called it. Sue was the great and terrible beauty. And this time, it would be fighting. Do you know what it was yet?